Dangers of the word "just", blogger retreat, #bullymamalife
People and Parenting,  Recipes and Ramblings

“Just” is a dangerous word.

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You are not “just” anything. You are so much more.

Dangers of the word "just", blogger retreat, #bullymamalife www.bullymamalife.com
A dangerous 4 letter word
Purple Teacup Blogger’s Retreat

I attended a blogging retreat almost 2 weeks ago. My blogging mentor Hope arranged the retreat (NOT a conference!), where 25 (amazing, powerful, interesting, insert other inspiring adjectives here) women came together for a weekend of blogging, networking, and self care. Sure, everyone came for different reasons. But I think it’s safe to say that everyone walked away with an utterly unique and worthwhile experience.

I had been looking forward to the retreat for months. Originally, the plan was for this to be an escape from my soul-sucking full time job and ridiculous commute (which is a story for another time). Funnily enough, I actually accepted a new job closer to home about 2 weeks before the retreat, so it ended up just being a vacation I could enjoy. I cannot begin to tell you how refreshing it was to get away without constant anxiety (about my job) in the back of my brain. Well, no more than my usual amount of anxiety anyway!

#purpleteacupretreat signs #sorrynotsorry #bullymamalife www.bullymamalife.com
Signs in the “lecture” room at the retreat
Beware the “just”

During one of the speakers, the idea of the dangers of the word “just” came up. How many times have we as women said “I’m just a mom, I just have a bachelor’s degree, I just work here…I just I just I just.

I honestly agree with the conversation at the retreat, that “just” is a concept that plagues women more than men. In my experience, women are taught to make themselves small, to be meek and obedient, to not call attention to themselves. And we are told not take credit for success if it might border on boasting. Enter this 4 letter word I’ve been talking about here. It’s a dismissive word, meant to diminish ourselves and our accomplishments.

Do you see all those negative words in the last paragraph? That’s merely a small sampling of my feelings on how women are viewed and treated in American society. Keep in mind, those are the G-rated ideas. Get me on a roll and I can spew other 4 letter words that are not “just” about this topic. Actually, while I’m on the subject of owning our accomplishments and traits, I know a lot of things! And I’m proud of that, society be damned.

Final thoughts

When I started writing this post, I meant to write a review/recap of the retreat. Oops.

Having said that, I implore you to be mindful of not only how you speak TO yourself, but also how you speak ABOUT yourself.

I know it’s easier said than done. Please try to avoid using the word “just” when describing yourself, your traits, your job, or your accomplishments. I’m working on it too, and I’m in your corner.

And if you want to be part of a community of bloggers who are amazing, interesting, unique, and working on changing the world? Check out some of Hope’s courses at the link in my first paragraph, or find her community on Facebook.

If you want to follow me across social media, you can find me here. If you want to read about my other recent self care getaways, check out my post from last year.

love Jamie (signature) #bullymamalife www.bullymamalife.com

I'm a 30-something geek/nerd just trying to make it in life. My current obsessions are the Queer Eye reboot, Doctor Who, Outlander, and American Gods to name a few. I also love hearts, stars, elephants, sushi, makeup, and self care. I’m a big believer in human rights and I’m a pitbull advocate as well. I love to read, and you will often find me in a nook with a good book, or watching a Disney movie (preferably from the late 80s/early 90s). When the local renaissance faire rolls around, you can find me there visiting my guy and our friends. I live with my boyfriend of 6 years, our cat Pippin (a 10 year old pure-bred Blue Point Ragdoll) and our rescued pitbull mix (American Staffordshire Terrier/Boxer) Celia Mae. I entered the realm of direct sales with Jamberry, and was a consultant for almost 2 years before finding Java Momma and Younique. I firmly believe in supporting other DS sisters. My favorites are Paisley Raye, LipSense, Younique, Origami Owl, and Perfectly Posh. Life is crazy, hectic, sometimes overwhelming, but so rewarding!!

One Comment

  • Heather

    I think you nailed it, we have to be more aware of how we speak to ourselves and about ourselves. It’s all about taking small steps and I’ve recently realized, if I can learn to speak ABOUT myself in a more confident way, the way I speak to myself will change as well. The reverse would be true as well.

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